[Fandom] D.Gray Man

[Title] 8 Seconds

[Character] Kanda Yuu

[Author] Collections foldingcrane 

[Summary] 8 seconds, 8 actions

[Disclaimer] I do not own D.Gray Man

8 seconds

He glanced at his clock, his room, and his personal possessions.

7 seconds

He strapped on his sword, his uniform perfect.

6 seconds

He stepped out of his room, ready for battle.

5 seconds

He walked to the harbor, his mission clear.

4 seconds

“Come back safely Kanda.”

“Good luck Kanda.”

He was bombarded by well wishes.

3 seconds

His fellow exorcists gave him his favorite food – soba.

2 seconds

He takes it, knowing that it may be the last time he would be tasting the noodles.

1 second

He is off, heading to a mission he may never return from.

0 seconds

“Farewell.”

[Title] Financial Assistance 101 by Kakuzu
[Author] Collections foldingcrane 
[Fandom] Naruto
[Characters] Kakuzu
[Rating] PG-13
[Word Count] 694
[Disclaimer] I do not own Naruto.
[Summary] Kakuzu's guide to managing your money with success.
 

 Check out the books by the same publisher:

Scaring Shopkeepers by Kakuzu, Hidan and Uchiha Itachi

Subtle Hurts by Paper Cuts written by Konan

Annoying the Shit Out of Someone by Tobi

Poisons and Traps by Sasori

Explosives: Maximum Damage by Deidara

How to be a Complete Asshole by Uchiha Itachi

Don’t Fucking Read This by Hidan

Seducing Someone to Your Side by Orochimaru

How to Emo Successfully by Uchiha Sasuke

The Art of Fangirling by Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura

Cloud Watching and Shougi Playing by Nara Shikamaru

Building Bonds by Sai

Weapons and Pointy Objects by Tenten

Hating Your Family Members by Hyuuga Neji

Catchphrases by Uzumaki Naruto

Killing Your Teacher by Mitarashi Anko

 

Managing your money would be easy should you follow my guide.

 

Let’s just say that these methods are tried and tested.

 

It helped. My budget didn’t break.

 

If it helped me, I’m sure it would help you.

 

After all, you don’t have Deidara exploding and destroying things, Sasori burning holes though your floors and walls when he is toying with his poisons. Well, you certainly don’t have Itachi burning the place down with his black fire or Hidan staining your floors and walls with blood.

 

Well, Step 1 would be setting a budget.

 

Of course you need to do that. When it breaks, be sure to bitch it to the culprits of the breaks.

 

Bitching works. Seriously.

 

Now continuing on, Step 2 would be keeping the people who break your budget in line.

 

Steal their items and sell them. Ignore all their complaining. If they insist on taking revenge, let’s just say that paper cuts hurt. A lot.

 

You might want to read “Subtle Hurts by Paper Cuts” written by Konan. Paper cuts are not to be under estimated.

 

Step 3: This step is optional. However, be sure to use this step should the people still refuse to listen to you. Well, this step is about being a complete asshole to the people. Reading “How to be a Complete Asshole” by Uchiha Itachi helps.

 

Really.

 

Or you can just deny them what they want. If they want a new shirt, deny them. Make them use their own funds to buy what they want.

 

Now that handling those bastards is done, we are moving on to Step 4. You will have to shop for your stuff. Of course, this includes the damages those shit heads caused. So basically, Step 4 is getting the best bargains.

 

Now you must be asking why this step is so important. You see, there are certain idiotic shopkeepers who could be rather stubborn. They refuse to lower their prices. That is not a good thing. Check “Scaring Shopkeepers” by Kakuzu, Hidan and Uchiha Itachi for more tips.

 

Step 5 would be making sure your goods stay undamaged. Remember those idiots from before? The ones that try and break your budget. Yes, do remember to protect your good from them. They would want revenge remember? So what do you do? Well, set booby traps. To discourage further attempts by those ass hats, set traps that would either scare them mentally or physically. Your choice. “Poisons and Traps” by Sasori is a good guide.

 

Now Step 6 would be raising funds. It doesn’t matter how you do it. You can decide to become a beggar and plead for money from others. Or you can do a sale. It doesn’t matter what sale it is. It can be selling clay bombs, courtesy of Deidara, selling poisons, courtesy of Sasori or just selling dango or just a garage sale. After all, it still raises funds. Do remember Step 5. Wouldn’t want your items to be destroyed before you sell them.

Step 7 is the most important step. Hiding your money. Revenge driven people remember? You have the cash. They want to cash. Incentives go a long way. Hide the cash somewhere safe. It can be in some part of your room, or it can be hidden under the sofa. Hide it somewhere the fucktarts cannot find. Do not place your money in the banks. Those scoundrels could forge your signature and withdraw the money. Not a good idea.